Four Solid Reasons Animals are Better than People

20 Jul

I think it’s a pretty well-known fact that animals kick ass. Yesterday I watched a documentary on animal friendships that really solidified the notion that animals are far superior to people in a bunch of ways. Recent studies have shown what I’ve been called crazy for saying: that animals can indeed show compassion and form bonds of friendship with each other. Don’t worry, I’m not going PETA on you guys, but I don’t think animals get the credit they deserve.

1. Animals Don’t Discriminate

We live in a world where a goat will gladly help his blind horse friend, a cheetah and a dog can be best friends, and a deer will come out from the woods every day to see his dog buddy, yet, there are still white people who won’t be friends with black people, straight people who won’t be friends with queer ones, and what have you. Come on, humans, get it together.

horse and goat

Picture links to the other odd animal couples. Prepare to aww.

2. Animals Probably Know Everything

Can you imagine what animals would say if they could talk? House pets get a front-row seat to family and relationship conflicts and could probably provide some profound third party advice if given the chance. Wild animals get to see parts of the rainforest, desert, ocean, and maybe even environments that no humans have ever even thought of venturing into. They also communicate with each other, sometimes more effectively than humans can. Ever seen the way ants build their anthills? Imagine if cities were nearly as well-planned and efficient.

anthill

Not to mention as clean.

3. Animals Don’t Have Big Governments

While this isn’t entirely true, what I mean is that the leaders of most animal packs are biologically destined to be so, and do not gain power through money and corruption. While it may not be fair by human standards that the biggest in the pack gets to be the leader, this is what has worked for the majority of species for billions of years. Animals go with the anarchic nature of the environment; while they often work in tandem with each other, they work as a part of nature rather than try to conquer it, and each other, as humans do.

republidemocrat

GMOs are getting pretty out of control.

4. Animals Follow their Instinct

Although most animals are capable of compassion and understanding, for the most part, they follow their survival instinct and end up being way more productive in reaching their goals, which are much simpler than human ones. Animals may reach disagreements, but at the end of the day, they do what they do to survive. You don’t see animals doing recklessly stupid things to jeopardize their survival like shooting heroin, jumping out of planes, or eating McDonald’s.

beefy skateboarding

We can all learn from Beefy’s skateboarding safety.

So there you have it, the next time you enjoy your status as the “dominant” species, remember that the majority of animals have their lives way more figured out than you ever will. Feel free to leave more reasons animals are superior to humans in the comments!

Anyway,

Readers! I know that there’s been a shortage of new content here, I’ve been writing some pieces for The Collegiate and taking care of some gigs on Fiverr as of late, so I decided to have some fun. I’ll post my serious pieces when they’re published and there’ll be more angry political type stuff soon enough.

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